Highlights from a recent posting on WebMasterWorld

Regarding all the buzz lately about how Google knows which sites are related, I have a theory. You all have to swear to keep it secret, because "they" might be listening, and we don't want "them" knowing we know, do we? Or maybe that's part of the conspiracy?

I have uncovered evidence that space aliens have secretly taken over Google. These aliens, who call themselves the Googites, have an inherent desire "to serve man" (as evidenced by the recent discovery of one of their books at the United Nations). In keeping with their utterly benign motives, they have placed encrypted telepathic devices in the toolbar which can read everyone's thoughts. Through special patented (via the Alpha Centauri office) technology, these thoughts are carefully sifted through for any possible connections between sites. Using this special technology, the Googites (you've seen them on the Simpson's) can ensure that Google's searches are 100% perfect and spam-proof!

What's the next step? My evidence suggests that the toolbar can be remotely upgraded (the recent valentine's day update was a test of this technology) to include telepathic mind-control software! With this, Google can sell ads, then control surfers to click on those ads, thus creating a huge, completely untapped and unlimited source of revenue!

Well, it makes about as much sense as some of the other conspiracy theories on this subject that I've read lately...

Further research indicates that there are some further aliens involved in the conspiracy. They go by the name of web bugs, and these insidious creatures burrow into the digital world, deep into web sites, and cause mayhem and madness wherever they go. Apparently the Googites and web bugs are mortal enemies, and war may soon break out ...

Got to run now, "they" are watching...

GoogleGuy respondes:

Dang! User Richard/richlowe, is on to our AlienRelevance (tm) technology! We're ramping up quality too quickly, and someone has noticed and somehow figured out our alliance with the benevolent Alpha Centaurs. We'll have to dial it back down a little, and increase the quality more slowly, over the next several months instead of weeks.

(Joking, of course. We have no aliens at Google. Honest.)

I wonder what happens if you feed Googites after midnight or get them wet or expose them to bright lights? Might we be able to devise a defense using these methods? On the other hand, they do want "to serve man" so perhaps we should just enjoy the trip?